The Ten Commandments for Parents of Athletic Children
1.
Make
sure your child know that- win or lose, scared or heroic- you love him,
appreciate his efforts, and are not disappointed in him. This will allow him to do his best without
fear of failure. Be the person in his
life he can look to for constant positive enforcement.
2.
Try
your best to be completely honest about your child’s athletic ability, his
competitive attitude, his sportsmanship, and his actual skill level.
3.
Be
helpful but don’t coach him on the way to the pool or on the way back or at
breakfast, and so on. It’s tough not
to, but it’s a lot tougher for the child to be inundated with advice. Pep talks are often critical instruction.
4.
Teach
him to enjoy the trill of competition, to be “out there trying,” to be working
to improve his swimming skills and attitudes.
Help him to develop the feel for competing, for trying hard, for having
fun.
5.
Try
not to relive your athletic life through your child in a way that creates
pressure; you lost as well as won. You
were frightened, you backed off at times, you were not always heroic. Don’t pressure your child because of your
pride.
6.
Don’t
compete with the coach. If the coach
becomes an authority figure, it will run from enchantment to disenchantment,
etc., with your athlete if you interfere with or debate the coach’s plan or
ability. Be supportive.
7.
Don’t
compare the skill, courage, or attitudes of your child with other members of
the team.
8.
Get
to know the coach so that you can be assured that his philosophy, attitudes,
ethics, and knowledge are such that you are happy to have your child under
his/her leadership.
9.
Always
remember that children tend to exaggerate, both when praised and when
criticized. Temper your reaction and
investigate before over-reacting.
10. Make a point of understanding courage, and the fact that it is
relative. Some of us can climb
mountains, and are afraid to fight. Some
of us will fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened in certain
areas. Explain that courage is not the
absence of fear, but a means of doing something in spite of fear of
discomfort.
The job of the parent of an athletic child is a
tough one, and it takes a lot of effort to do it well. It is worth all the effort when you hear your
child say, “My parents really helped and I was lucky in this respect.”